My Experience With Cannabis (Igbo)

This happened some few years back. I had just moved out of my friend’s house and was sharing a room with another 'friend'. I had no idea he smoked weed despite his suspicious movement and signature weed scent (abi smell?) barely two weeks after moving in with him, my worst fears were confirmed as he started bringing home his weed smoking buddies and they would occasionally roll a wrap and smoke it right there in the room or mix the weed with Beans or Spaghetti. Being a curious person, I always wondered what made them happy after smoking. So I decided to find out for myself (wrong move).

It was a very hot day in February, a Saturday I think it was, my friend was out as usual. I searched everywhere for his stash but couldn't find it so I decided to go and get mine. I arrived the weed Joint all sweaty and nervous, half expecting to get mugged but nobody seemed to be aware of my presence there, they were all on different planets all except one I concluded that he must be the seller so I approached him and the following conversation ensued:

Me: how far?

Weed Seller: I dey

Me: I wan buy weed

Weed Seller: how many parcel?

Me: parcel ke? Iro oo, na just small I need

Weed Seller: (laughs really hard) Bolo leleyi sha (meaning this guy is a dunce). Apparently, a parcel of weed is that small wrap, I didn't know that. I thought it was something very large. I gave him 1000naira and he gave me a tiny wrap of weed with a white paper, I was surprised when he gave me N950 as change. I couldn't believe weed was that cheap. On my way home, I decided not to smoke it but mix it with beans because I thought that it will be better that way (another wrong move).

Long story short, I cooked Beans and added the whole weed, ate it and called my friend, I told him ‘ogbeni I just ate weed oo and nothing happened to me this one that you people will eat and be feeling funky, I don chop am oo’. My friend was like ‘ehen you be strong man oo.’

I decided to take a quick nap before doing laundry, I woke up about 20 minutes later on the floor I was banging my head on the floor, and I couldn't stop, my heart beat was so audible and fast, everything was extra bright and extra loud. After a few minutes of head banging. I was able to get up from the floor, I felt as if I had just gained access to a part of my mind that I never knew existed previously it was scary and cool at the same time. I could feel the blood flowing in my veins (you have to experience it to believe it. Though I strongly advise against it) I felt so uncomfortable in the room, it felt like I was in an oven.

Suddenly, a voice in my head whispered ‘ogbeni bo aso e joor’ (off your clothes) I obeyed. The voice came again ‘oya sa re’ (now run) that was when I realised that the weed had taken effect. So, I decided to take a shower to see if it will calm me down, but the water felt so hot on my skin so hot I ran out of the bathroom.

I called my friend to see if he could help me make sense of what was going on but he laughed at me, he asked me the quantity of weed I took and I told him I used a whole parcel, he said ‘guyyyyy you don eff up if you no sleep in the next 30mins, you go mad oo go chemist make you go explain yourself.’

By this time things had escalated, I had a severe itch at the back of my head that wouldn't go away no matter how hard I scratched and I was convinced that the beating in my chest was an evil spirit that could only be killed with a punch. I ran to my neighbour popular known as ‘Champion’ and told him ‘Champion e jo e fun mi lese laya (Champion pls punch me in the chest) ti e ba gbami lese laya mo ma ku oo (if you don't punch me I will die oo) he hissed and walked out having had enough of such nonsense from the boys in the Area. The voice in my head came again saying ‘iwo na o de gba ara e lese laya abi o ti fe ku ni’ (why don't you punch yourself in the chest or do you want to die?).

I punched and punched but there was no difference.

The house was getting hotter, the voice in my head was getting louder, the itch in my head was getting worse, and the evil spirit in my chest was getting louder. Then came the voice again ‘oya ma sare lo’ (start running). So, I started running but on getting outside in the sun, I felt so cold I was shivering but that didn't stop me from running (I would have given Usain Bolt a run for his money on that day).

On getting to the Chemist, I realised I was bare footed, I told him I had a severe headache I needed something to make me sleep immediately, he gave me the drug and I chewed it right there in his presence, next I asked him to give me a drug for ‘evil spirit’, that was when he realised something was wrong with me and chased me out.

I got back home and tried to sleep but my heart-beat wouldn’t let me, so I ran back out this time around to a Nurse in the area, first thing she asked was ‘kilode o wo bata ni’? (Why don't you have your shoes on?) I told her ‘Jackie Chan ti gba bata lowo mi’ (Jackie Chan collected my shoes). I was finally able to explain my situation to her and she took me in, tied something around my elbow and injected me directly in the vein. I passed out immediately only to wake around 1 or 2am in the middle of the night with the worst kind of hunger I have ever felt in my life. I ate a whole loaf of Butterfield Bread in one sitting without butter or tea.

The next morning, I came home to a hero's welcome, my friend told me ‘e be like say your head no carry am but e go better make you try am once more so you go dey use to it’.

The following day while the house was empty, I packed my Ghana-must-Go and like the prodigal son in the Bible I went back home to my Parents home. It's been few years since that experience but the lesson I learnt is an unforgettable one. My curiosity hasn't gotten me in trouble again and my circle-of-friends have since changed.

My Advice: Don't Ever Do Drugs or Weeds!

End Note: This write-up was curled from a Facebook post and it’s NOT an experience of our Director or any members of Staff of BackYardstudio Inc.